Don't underestimate us...

"If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;if your kicked in the gut,he'll help you catch your breath."

Recently I got the honor of speaking at my graduating High School. My heart is so passionate about Speical Education because I've been there. I was one of "those" kids. This past week this has continued to stay on my heart so here I go.

I wasn't really sure that I was going to be brave enough to share that with really the world. I was always scared that others would label me in some way. 

Speaking at Wapahani has brought so many heart felt memories back. 

Such as never leaving Mr.Luce's room without him saying "I'm proud of you, Chels!"

As he still doesn't let me leave without those words. Those words meant the world to me then but gets me teary eyed now.

I think back to those days where I had a 'safe place' to go too. I could be crying over a math problem. He'd stop what he was doing to talk to me or let me just cry. Don't get me wrong he wouldn't allow me to stay there long.

Six years later he's still telling me how much he believes in me.

I mean this speaks loud volume.

This past week I wished that he was just a hallway away like he was in High School. 

OR

That Mrs.Everhart was just a hallway away...

Thankfully, when they can't be a hallway away they are just a text, call, email away! 

They've been there before we had no anwsers. 

They've seen the struggle school had brought. Really first hand. 

They've been through the ups dystonia has brought and the downs dystonia has brought.

They both wanted me even while I was speical Ed.

Yesterday, I picked up the phone and this teacher who when I was in High School was one of my main teachers as she is now the speical Education coordinator for LPS.

She's been around me so much throughout my life she just knows what to say to clam the situation or stress of dystonia down.

As this week was hard. 

Two speech pathologist instead of one in the same room from now on. I have had to work really hard. This week I made a phone call outloud, in front of them. For those that know me well know I do not talk on the phone a lot. No thank you! 

I read a LOT. I was challegned this week. 

I love both Amanda & Haley. The love that they have for others. The fact that they get as excited if not more then I do when I accomplish something that may seem so small to others.

Wednesday, the three of us girls left the room laughing and smiling as the week was over for therapy and all three of us worked hard. 

We even got through a Dr.Suess book! Those are some long books too. 

This has been our mindset for the last few weeks now during therapy! 

Dystonia isn't winning. 

In the meantime my left foot started turning inwards. 

I found myself on the verge of tears after work but knew I had to keep my heart, my mind focused on 'this doesn't define me.' 

We have a set consult with a neurosurgeon next month.

My heart is racing as I type this.

My mind is so full of the 'what if's...' both good and bad.

It became REAL this week!

Think twice if you don't think this scares me.

We are asking that you all pray for this appointment as it's our last option.

I can't help but to have so many emotions about this.

It's a good thing I serve a big big God who has this in his hands already.

He knows my heart.

That anxious feeling when your just waiting...

This week I have learned that being a speical education teacher has got to be one of the toughest but most rewarding teaching positions ever. 

You see your kids go through tough things but you love them through it.

They'll always be your kids at heart.

Just because your speical Ed doesn't mean you can't help others.

Really, I think speical ed kids have maybe more compassion for others because they know what it can feel like at times. 

That my Mom is the strongest lady I know. 

She not only has two of her own speical needs kids but works in the speical Education progrom at her school.

Meet, Mrs.Christman.

Our hearts are with Speical needs parents and families because we know all too well it's not an easy thing. 

Be kind. Don't underestimate. We are people too. We can do big things too! 

We just need a little extra help sometimes.

Most importantly. Jesus loves us too!